Wednesday 7 October 2009

The really big apple

I've been spending some time in New York lately, doing a little favour in exchange for the biggest penthouse apartment I've ever seen.

All I had to do was get rid of a 50 storey skyscraper, without scratching the buildings around it. A piece of cake. Well, I tried it first on a single floor house, but when I pushed my fingers into the solid concrete foundation and lifted it, half the house crumbled on top of me. That was fun, especially getting rid of the rubble, but that wouldn't really work for the skyscraper. When I asked Jason about, he mused that "If only you could lift it in a dozen places at once." I liked that idea.

First, I dug out a part of the foundation, using my smooth hands to scoop away reinforced concrete like it was sand, until I made a wide enough gap to put my hands underneath. When I was finished, there was a two meter deep slit underneath the walls of the building. Next, I put my hands underneath and threw them up, pushing the reinforced steel and hardened concrete up like it weighed little more than a feather. Then, in far less then the blink of an eye, I moved to the right two meters and repeated the move. In less then a tenth of a second, I'd done my trick on the whole north wall and could already seen the skyscraper tip over the side. 

I quickly ran to the other side, but halfway there I noticed a large bulldozer blocking my path. There was no time to move around, so I simple went through. In midstep, my foot carved through the four inch dozer blade, followed by my calve, which left a wide gap from the bulging muscle. Next was my thigh, which went through just as easily. When my breast hit the bulldozer, my nipples instantly hardened, punching out two little disks of metal which probably ended up embedded in a building across the street. The metal flowed around my body, either being thrown aside or crushed between my legs or in my cleavage. I loved the feeling of hard steel bending against my far harder body, the tingle I get from using my strength to exert forces far greater than any material can withstand. The only thing I regret is that I was in to much of a hurry to enjoy the feeling.

A hundredth of a second later, I arrived on the other side of the skyscraper, lifting the skyscraper there as well, then repeating it for the other walls. 

The sight for anyone watching would have been amazing. They would see a hundred Amandas, muscles large enough to embarrass any professional body builder, put their hands underneath a section of the skyscraper and effortlessly throw it up in the air, while a 50 tonne bulldozer exploded into a million pieces.

I just stood underneath, watching the building fly higher and higher, until it was nothing but a tiny speck, which disappeared as it started it's trip out of the solar system, making it the largest man made (or should I say girl made) object in space. It would have taken a demolition crew months to tear down the building, leaving them all exhausted every day. For me, it took a few seconds, and it left me hoping that the moving company had already put up the bed, because I was going to christen the apartment. Several time.

2 comments:

  1. Donald Trump08/10/2009, 14:06

    Great. I really appreciate it. Too bad I forgot how crappy New York looks. I'm just gonna have to sell this one too.

    I made a multi-million dollar deal with my good buddy Bill Gates... I call him Billy. As you probably know, there's a meteor heading for earth, and it's larger than the Sun. He said we're doomed, and there's nothing that can stop it. I told him that not only could YOU stop it, but you could stop it with JUST your pectorals.

    Trust me... if you can do this, you'll get paid HUGE.

    Leave a message with my secretary.

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  2. Can't wait to see the new place. Don't work too hard.

    XOXO Meg

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